First there are the young girls, the tweens and teens who have an attitude of feigned indifference, yet who are secretly thrilled to be entering this wondrous world of womanhood. They roll their eyes and act like they don’t want to be measured, but their mothers insist. These are the mothers who see it as their job to guide their daughters through this rite of passage, it is important to get them properly fitted for a bra. I see this as their absolute love for their daughters, and the beginning of their acceptance of them as blossoming women, no longer girls. The girls peek at themselves furtively in the mirror. How bittersweet this moment is for those mothers.

Then there are the young, self-assured women. They easily drink in their reflections and feel satisfied and happy and glow with possibility. They have plenty of time to discover the world. I am glad for these women, but there are also the young women who have yet to realize that they are beautiful. Their bodies to them represent all that society has told them is wrong and they have absorbed this notion and feel confused and betrayed by their shape. No one can tell them they are beautiful, they will have to learn it for themselves when they no longer need others to tell them how to see their reflection. How fleeting is this time, how fragile our self esteem.

Sometimes I work with women of different ages who have become mothers – they have nursed or are nursing and they come in for a fitting because their bodies have changed. They are not distraught over this, but they wear this change as a badge of honor because they have nurtured their children. They accept this as part of the trade off for having these babies. Sometimes harried with a baby in a stroller, or kids to pick up from school, they are trying to balance it all and still find their own reflection when they look in the mirror. They want comfort and to look pretty, but they have no time to fuss over themselves. They are in the throes of life, their bodies do not belong to them.

Women come in who want to indulge themselves with something beautiful. Sometimes they are newly-divorced and are starting to date, sometimes they just want to please their significant ones or maybe just themselves. They look in the mirror and they see themselves as they were once, they can overlook their perceived flaws, they can work with what they have and assert themselves. They are still beautiful, sometimes they know it sometimes they don’t, but they accept what they see in the mirror, without judgment.

And yes there is the menopausal set who are also facing a changing body and need a ‘re-fitting.’ Some face the mirror with cheerful resignation, they are helpless to control what is happening to them, so they laugh. What else can they do? Others are fearful and sad, sometimes angry and frustrated with what is happening to them and turn away from the mirror.  I want them to say that they are still themselves, beautiful in every way, maybe even more so for their scars and stretch marks – still vibrant and lovely, full of sage advice and life experiences only a woman has the privilege to know.

Now and then a woman will come in who has been through some kind of breast augmentation, either through illness or necessity.  I see bravery and courage in these women. They unabashedly face the mirror, sometimes exhausted, sometimes re-bounding with recovered strength. I have no words for them. This is their own private journey, my participation is only to be there for them, to acknowledge what they have been through and find them what they need. Here their inner beauty shows its reslilience.

I see women who have weight issues, for whom the very act of coming into the fitting room is a major effort. I see women who have comfort issues, or are petite and have trouble finding the right fit. Different ends of the spectrum, yet their story is the same. 　Real beauty exists in these women as well, but again sometimes they know it and sometimes they don’t. The mirror holds a reflection to be interpreted by the beholder alone.

Of course, there are the women in their seventies, eighties and even nineties, who exude a kind of confident aloofness. For them it is all about comfort and pleasing only themselves. Sometimes they are wickedly funny, making bawdy remarks, sometimes quietly reserved. They are comfortable just being themselves, they have navigated the complicated journey of womanhood and they can still face the mirror and smile. I smile, too.

We travel together in this circle of womanhood and acceptance of ourselves and our bodies. We share the same fears and hopes and desires as we look into the fitting room mirror, in all our stages of life. I can find the bra to lift you and support you, or minimize you or make you bigger or smoother or more comfortable or sexy, but ultimately we must accept who we are, and we all need and deserve to love ourselves more.  Live Beautifully!

Our Salon Prives are free to the public, and give people a chance to experience our store, art, music and fashion in a sophisticated yet fun environment.  A key component of our Salon Prive series has been the Sugar Shack Burlesque.  Run-Around Sue and her crew of world-renowned burlesque performers have been the live models for all of our Salons, and our stores wouldn’t be the same without them.

Here’s a 3-question interview with Run-Around Sue:

Bra & Girl:  How did you get involved with Bra & Girl and the Salon Prive series?

Run-Around Sue: Sugar Shack Burlesque first appeared in the Berkshires with a regularly occurring series at the old Club Helsinki.  I remember one night there was some buzz because the owners of the soon to be opened lingerie shop were in the house and were interested in possibly collaborating.  The idea of an old school salon with fine lingerie, good music and a well-put together crowd was really exciting to me.  Once I met Dan and April I knew the night would not only be a great success full of beauty, but also full of a lot of heart. And heart is what is most important in everything we do in the Sugar Shack.

Bra & Girl:  How does a Salon Prive show differ from your other performances?

Run-Around Sue: With the Salon the focus is on the garments and the joyful playfulness the garments inspire in us.  We walk through the crowd wearing a variety of pieces which allows viewers to see the pieces in action  – how they move, how comfortable they are to get around in.  They can ask us directly, “How do you feel in that?”  There is no fourth wall like at a classical show and instead of performing burlesque routines; we use our burlesque personas to invigorate the night with a sense of adventure, cheekiness and beauty.  It really becomes quite a warm space where those in attendance feel comfortable in their own skin and charmed by the fabrics, the music, and again – the heartfelt sincerity that Dan and April put into their shop.

Bra & Girl:  What is your favorite Salon Prive moment?

Run-Around Sue: I love the moments in the window.  In a variety of outfits we stand in the beautiful window displays and act as living mannequins.  It’s always a blast to see the reactions of those walking down the street.  And since it’s all done in good taste, it creates quite a bit of curiosity and eventually people who weren’t aware of the salon happily wander in.  I also love the live music.  The Live element in general at the Salon is very electrifying.  In a culture that has become so distant from its own tactile experiences through emersion in the internet and other fragmented elements of our modern society, it is a very warm experience to have all these live bodies laughing, sharing and opening up to real life – real women with a great amount of variety in their body types.  The Salon Prive is the perfect balance of class and accessibility wrapped up in a decadent night of music and fashion.

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Run-Around Sue and the ladies of Sugar Shack Burlesque will be modeling spring fashions at our next Salon Prive at Pittsfield Bra & Girl on Saturday, April 9, 2010, from 6-8 p.m., with live music by the Bra*Stars featuring Rob Sanzone.  After the Salon Prive, Sugar Shack Burlesque will perform their full stage show next door at Baba Louie’s starting at 9 p.m.

A simple solution is to use nipple covers underneath any bra you want (or no bra if you are so inclined).  Nippies, available at Bra & Girl, are soft, flexible ultra-thin silicone nipple covers.  These wardrobe essentials are superior at concealing the nipple. We’ve found they are excellent and women love that they can use them over and over again.  Nippies are available in adhesive or non-adhesive styles.  The non-adhesive ones form to the curves using body heat and are great under thin lace or soft bras.  Block those highbeams, honey!

A more scientific and potentially gratifying way to tame those nipples is choosing the right bra.  Superior bra construction will enable nipple compression by simple design.  The very best example of this that I have found is the Rive Gauche Bra made by Chantelle.  Without getting into the physics of bra design, the 3-part cup design (i.e. the cup is comprised of three pieces of fabric stitched together) imparts force to at the tip of the cup where the nipple resides.  This pressure provided by the seam compresses the nipple very well.  Other styles that work well vis-à-vis this feature are the Fantasie Helena Bra and the Elomi Caitlyn both specialty bras for sizes 30D-36G and 38D-52G, respectively.

With these tips (no pun intended), we hope that you can enjoy a more diverse lingerie wardrobe and not be restricted to molded cup bras simply because of the nipple issue.

***Live Beautifully***

Yours truly,

Dr. Cleavage